Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
