when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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