Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
