I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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