Sponge bath it is.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.