My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize