I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
