also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.