sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
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