Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
