Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
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