:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
one two three fourrrrnication!
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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