my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
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