he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
