the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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