Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
