We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
