i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
