You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
