having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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