what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
