You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
