Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
