idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
