I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Randomize
