There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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