I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
