Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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