So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
