So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
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