You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
