I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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