what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
