Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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