Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize