Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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