i permit you to call me
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
