I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Randomize