yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
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