My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
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