I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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