I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
