Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
