Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
