That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
