i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
