Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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