Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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