I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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