i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
