Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
