We're like a lot better than the average bears
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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