I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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