I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Randomize
