Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
