He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Less talking, more tequila
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
