Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize