His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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