Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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