we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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