I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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