It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
