I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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