That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
